Child Discipline – Five Simple Tips

Raising kids isn’t easy, but here’s some tips on how to properly discipline children that can make your job as a parent go a bit more smoothly.

1. Always Be Consistent: I cannot stress this enough. Following this one rule will likely make the biggest difference in the discipline of your children. Conversely, to ignore this rule will only ensure that you create children who do not respect you or the rules. For example, if you have a rule that the children are not to beg for toys while in the store, then stick with it. Otherwise if you cave in to their whining once or twice, all you’ve done it teach them that if they whine enough, they will get their way.

2. Offer our child choices: Much of the struggles in parenting revolves around the power struggle with children. But with a small change in your behavior you can make a huge difference in your child’s behavior. A successful technique to get your child to do things they don’t want to do is give them a couple of choices, which in turn gives them the feeling of power. For example, say you want your child to go take a bath, but your child doesn’t like to take baths. You could phrase your question like this: “Johnny, it’s time for a bath, do you want to play with your rubber ducky in the bathtub or would you rather play with your boat?” Both of these choices require the child to do the thing you want him to do (take a bath), but the child feels somewhat empowered, and is more likely to do what you want.

Another example is the struggle parents have at with picky eaters. Say your toddler is not eating their vegetables. You could encourage them to eat by saying something like: “Sarah, what do you want to do after you are done eating your carrots, go to the park, or ride your bike?”

3. Be Calm/Do not explode: Children are perfect mimics and they pattern their behavior after their parents. If you are constantly screaming and yelling, they will learn that that is the accepted way to behave. Then when they have siblings, or friends, they will continue the behavior. Also, if you blow up at them over every little thing, then that type of behavior will quickly loose it’s effect, and then when your child does something that requires you to raise your voice, such as run into the street, they will be less likely to be swayed by your yelling because it is such a common occurrence.

4. Be a Teacher: Your children are born into this world not knowing how to act, nor control the urges they have. Do not expect them to instinctually learn to behave without some instruction. They need to be taught and instructed.

For example, if your child never behaves in a store, then teach them the proper and accepted behavior. Say you need to do your week’s shopping on Monday, then take a half hour on Saturday to take your child to the store to teach them how to behave. When they ask for something, or try to take something from the shelves, quietly instruct them that they aren’t allowed to do it. If they persist, give them a warning that you will leave the store if they do not behave. If the behavior continues, then leave the store. By doing it this way you can leave the store and you won’t have to contend with cutting your real shopping trip short and your child will eventually learn that if he wants to have fun with mommy at the store, she had better behave.

5. Express love constantly: Children need nurturing, love and reassurance. If your children are constantly being hugged, and told that they are loved, and played with, they will be less likely to misbehave for your attention. Also, after they are disciplined, make sure you show an extra measure of love for them so they know that your love for them is not conditional upon their mistakes.